Saturday, September 6th, 2024
Early Access + Express
ARRIVAL
Got to Universal around 4:40pm, the 405 closure ruined my usual on-ramp and caused a back up, creating a delay so I was a bit later than I would have liked. Got through security and the lines to get in pretty fast and get our Express tickets quickly — I was in the park at 5:10pm. Didn’t realize that Fast & Furious was almost completely done, that was so much fun to look at from the Starway (but it’s a bit of an ugly warehouse to see by the Plaza and Hogsmeade, no?). Then we went straight down to…
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S
[Advertised Wait: 25 minutes GA, 5 minutes EX. Time In Line: 5:50pm. In the maze: 5:54pm.]
The scares were soft but I actually…dug it? Loved the facade and man, the sets in here were beautiful. If there is any takeaway, I love the design and the overall vibe. That first room is massive and detailed, but then the curtains do kinda ruin it and that first scare can be seen from a mile away. I will say every puppet scare is a fail, including the REALLY bad hands coming out of the walls — who approved that?! The main thing keeping this afloat in the scare department is the dead/ghost kids. Luckily, there’s a good mixture of both, so you can be impressed by the puppets/set design as a distraction, and get a good jolt elsewhere. Some puppet scares were just too far away though, like the ones coming down a hallway, which is fun to watch but feels more afternoon dark ride-y — which, hey, if Universal wants to put the money into, since they won’t pull the trigger on a Universal Monsters one, I wouldn’t be mad about FNAF getting that treatment. Best scare in the maze is the arcade section — I had no idea a scare would come from there, so that one got me. The maze picks up on scares for a bit and then it kinda just…ends (more on that later). Overall, conceptually I just love this idea and even the movie, which is too dumb for its own good as a bit of guilty pleasure. If this comes back next year in a NEW maze, I’d be all for it. The puppets looked good, the sets were full of details, and you can tell they put a lot of love (and money) into this. This felt like classic HHN to me, but super-sized and a little softer in scares. We come to this event to walk through our favorite properties and this felt like that, so hopefully fans are happy.
B+
SCARECROW: MUSIC BY SLASH
[Advertised Wait: 25 minutes GA, 5 minutes EX. Time In Line: 5:50pm. In the maze: 5:54pm.]
Going through this time and I kinda realized…was this maze ever that good to begin with? This felt exactly the same as I remember it and it’s not like the maze had fatigue — if anything, I’d say this cast was rocking it hardcore, with the highest intervals between scares I saw all night. But the story of this maze and overall presentation just feels…basic? I remember the first year, I said it could’ve been better and this time it really hit me that genuinely there’s something missing here in terms of storytelling to give it any wow factor. It doesn’t try anything new and it feels repetitive. Oh yeah, didn’t even notice the music — I guess it was fine? I’m only giving this a higher mark than the tone of my review simply because this cast was just going for it.
C+
JURASSIC WORLD
Still no “Welcome to the Jungle?!” Noticed there were way more spitter Dinos, I’m guessing this was a summer add on? One of them came randomly before any real trouble started, I thought that was a choice. Anyway, ride looks good, all the effects are working. Already bored of the Jurassic World elements, I know it’s impossible and costly, but going back to Park would be best for business…
WWE: THE HORRORS OF THE WYATT SICKS
[Advertised Wait: 15 minutes GA, 5 minutes EX. Time In Line: 6:19pm. In the maze: 6:30pm. They told me the maze was open at 6:19pm but that was a lie, so we wasted 11 minutes standing here.]
There are parts in here where I truly went WOW and some parts where I went…”uhhhh?” First thing I noticed was the swamp ground sticker on the floor outside the facade…this is the first time they’ve ever done something like this, from my recollection. I mean it looked SUPER fake and almost pointless, but I give them points for doing…something. And as for any of Bray’s or Uncle Howdy’s ramblings, you could barely hear them, so if anything here could help set up the story, it’s completely going over people’s heads. On to the maze. Now, unlike most reviews you’ll probably read, I am an actual WWE fan and have some knowledge going in. While I didn’t think this maze should have happened, I do think they made their best case for its existence. My issue is a lot of these characters are presented in WWE and truly just…aren’t that scary. They don’t ever “actually” kill anyone or even attack them in horrific ways. In fact, Bray Wyatt lost a lot of matches against fairly regular people all the time and the Wyatt Sicks themselves have been off of TV for most of the year and were randomly given the WWE Tag Team titles just recently (my guess is to make this maze seem more…relevant? I don’t know.) The first scene with the light walls was super impressive. As the maze went deeper though., the more I questioned — “what the hell is going on?” My best guess is we’re being indoctrinated into the Wyatt Sicks but also that seems…wrong? However, it wouldn’t be the only time a maze this year’s story is wonky, even if taken at face value in earnest. A few other wrestlers make appearances in the maze as victims, such as LA Knight, Jey Uso, and Finn Balor — wish some of them were actual actors instead of dummies though. Or were these supposed to be WWE fans? See, I don’t know, it’s all unclear. Mirror room was cool and I loved the Alexa Bliss scrim on the swing, just wish she got a scare. Despite not knowing what the hell was going on, the cast was truly aggressive and imposing. They were able to get in your face from far distances and be menacing. I’m not sure if the attack elements always made sense, but at least they were going for it. With that said, I’d say this was overall the best cast of the night and everyone fit their roles perfectly. The aforementioned Alexa Bliss looked enough like her that I had to double take and see if it was really her. And then the maze sorta just…ends (noticing a trend here…more on that later). Despite all its shortcomings on a storytelling front, I actually dig the maze. It’s not a total disaster. It’s not that great either. And best of all? The line will always be short. As an original offering, it doesn’t really entice anyone. And as much as they try to sell it on the walls of the Jason Universe maze of all places, none of it truly makes sense still (and even if you could hear it, it still wouldn’t make sense because Bray and Uncle Howdy’s ramblings are kinda nonsensical but I guess that tracks for a swamp cult leader). The maze is fun enough and that’s the best we could have asked for.
B-
JASON UN1V3RSE
[Advertised Wait: 50 minutes GA, 10 minutes EX. Time In Line: 6:40pm. In the maze: 6:44pm.]
Now THIS is what I am talking about, baby, maze of the year! Love the new queue space and the ability to project stuff on the wall. Entering, things were already off on the right foot. Crazy Ralph being a mask is…a choice though. I could tell there seemed to be a new story present and I realized this isn’t all the movies simply presented here…this is a remake of part 1-7 but set in modern times. Murdy really likes killing influencers, huh? And man, this maze was glorious. VERY FIRST SCENE you get a triple scare. This was just a constant go go go of Jason attacking you in every direction. It sounded and looked beautiful in every way and I loved the interpretation. I think they could do more with the car attack moment, there’s no scare here, that I can remember. The next scene at the camp ground was AWESOME and smelled great. Just so much havoc. My favorite bit is the guy being electrocuted, just such a cool visual. Another awesome moment is the bow and arrow attack, just brutal. The maze then randomly ends after all the variations attack you. Now I wouldn’t say this is the best Jason maze they’ve done, but also not the worst iteration. Maybe somewhat on par with the Camp Blood mazes in 2007-2008, but slightly more intense. It was very solid and I have only very few negatives, so this is easily my favorite. Is it just me or do all the mazes seem oddly short this year? I am actually impressed they found a way to get every version of Jason from 1-7 in this maze. You got kid Jason, baghead Jason, Jason finding the mask, dead Jason, resurrected Jason, and Jason that was chained to the bottom of the lake and had decayed a bit. Maybe the only thing here missing is copycat Jason from part 5? Who knows, but fans will be very happy.
A
MARIO KART
[Advertised Wait: 5 minutes GA. Time In Line: 7:40pm. In the ride: 8pm.]
There’s gotta be a better way to get through this queue when its empty. Also for whatever reason, at the end, they were only using one lane even though both sides of the ride were open, so it just created a weird hold up after the pre-show room. The ride is in great condition still and I love being able to utilize it during HHN. I’m hoping next year they open it up to everyone — could it be used as a scare zone? I would hope so, but I doubt they’ll do it.